December 2023
Ben Patterson tells a story of a Sunday dinner at his grandma’s house when he was eight years old. A huge roast of beef was situated on one end of the table. A vat of steaming mashed potatoes on the other. Potatoes were his favorite so he picked a chair closest to them. As the family gathered he began to daydream about how he was going to pour the gravy - a moat around the potatoes or a lake in the middle?
His grandpa asked his Uncle to pray. And pray he did. Patterson describes it like this:
Albert prayed with great feeling and volume. He was truly grateful for the food. So was I. But he was grateful in detail. He thanked God for the scallions and the peas and the beef. He rhapsodized over the plates and forks and knives. He sang of Grandma and the “hands that prepared” the food. He extolled the name of God for his wonderful generosity. He wept and clapped his hands for joy. I began to notice the steam wasn’t rising as high on the mashed potatoes. My heart sank as his rose, and the potatoes grew cold.
I was disgusted when he finished and resentful for years afterward, but the seed of a new idea was planted: You feel joy when you are grateful for the grace that you have been given. (from He Has Made Me Glad: Enjoying God’s Goodness with Reckless Abandon pg. 16)
Grace, gratitude and joy. Patterson goes on to say that “gratitude and joy are the twin children of grace.” They are even connected linguistically to the same root. In Greek, the word for grace is charis, the word for gratitude is eucharistia (sometimes we use the word Eucharist as a name for the Lord’s Supper), and the word for joy is chara.
It is Thanksgiving weekend as I write this. I am as excited for my sister’s steaming mashed potatoes tomorrow as eight-year-old Patterson was at his grandmother’s oak dining table. And for Katie’s chocolate chip cheesecake. And fresh baked rolls with homemade strawberry jam. And Grace’s chocolate chip cookies (my mom’s recipe). And…you get the point.
Gratitude comes easy around a full Thanksgiving table but at other times it is harder to access. There are lots of things in the world that steal our joy. The news is depressing, often scary. The frustrations of life - everything from misplacing your cell phone to losing a loved one and everything in between - come at us all the time, like waves in the ocean. By the time we get through one thing the next swell comes and knocks us over again. Self-pity comes easy.
I think this is where Patterson’s observation about grace and gratitude is helpful. Grace is a gift. And an unexpected gift at that. There is something about the surprise of a gift that makes us happy. Just think back to a perfect birthday or Christmas present that you didn’t know you were going to receive. Before you opened the present you didn’t have any idea that you wanted what was under that wrapping paper. You didn’t know you needed it. And then all of a sudden there it was. It is like playing peek-a-boo with a little toddler. It seems like it would get old after awhile but for whatever reason every time you cover your face with your hands and then open them she giggles again. It is as if she is totally surprised that your face was hiding behind those hands. And her giggling and joy makes you want to keep playing all afternoon.
Grace, real grace, is a gift that we didn’t expect. It catches us off guard. Grace surprises us. “It is what Frederick Buechner calls the ‘crucial eccentricity’ of the Christian faith, the unique and wonderfully odd thing God does to forgive sinners; he doesn’t give them the bad things they deserve but the incredibly good things they don’t deserve.”* Self-pity comes when we think we are entitled to a better lot in life than the one we’ve received. It is the opposite of gratitude because it is the opposite of grace. When we think God owes us something, life can get pretty bleak. When we come to realize that God doesn’t owe us anything but instead gives graciously, we can’t help but giggle like a toddler playing peek-a-boo.
When the shepherds were watching their flocks at night and all of a sudden Angels appeared in the heavens and God’s glory shone all around them, like blinding headlights in a pitch black field, Luke tells us the shepherds were terrified. “Sore afraid” is how the King James English put it. And the angel says to them, “Don’t be afraid; for see - I am bringing you good news of great joy for all the people.” Good news of great joy. Surprise. Grace. “To you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord.” May we be surprised once again by the story of Jesus this December.
Grace and peace,
Pastor Doug
* Quoted in Patterson’s book, page 17.
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